Massholes, we all know them. Whether it be head-to-toe Pats gear or naturally forgetting the “r” in a word to get that accented “pahk the car in Hahvahd Yahd,” there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your roots. That is until Jimmy, the guy from your Intro to College Writing class who is a Class-A Masshole, asks you on a date and you have to gently decline because he just isn’t your type. Don’t get me wrong, Massholes may be the choice for some, but not for others.
Sometimes it’s best to take matters into your own hands and take yourself out on a date. Boston is a city famous for its history, marathons, lobster rolls, and sport teams. There is plenty to do and see. Plus, anything that can be done with a partner can be done alone, too. Usually better.
Why take yourself to a good museum when you can take yourself to a bad one? The Museum of Bad Art is the world’s only museum dedicated to the collection, preservation, and exhibition of bad art. All works are created with sincere intent, yet ignored by the rest of the international art community. This institution features paintings such as an animal portrait titled "BONE JUGGLING DOG IN A HULA SKIRT" and a still life known as "Disassembled Light Bulb, Hard Boiled Egg, Tablecloth, Exacto Knife, and Pez Dispenser." This celebration of failure boasts a collection of over 600 works, with roughly 60 on view at any given time. This art is too bad to ignore.
Typically known as a two-person activity, rock climbing can also be done alone. Rock Spot Climbing in South Boston has an auto-belay system that will make you sweat and groan unlike any human partner. There is no need to worry about who’s at the other end of your rope, because you can have your own back.
A movie date is probably as classic as it gets. With its golden seating and red velvet curtains, you can take this experience to the next level at the Coolidge Corner Theatre. Open since 1933, this theatre has provided Boston with almost a century of screenings and events. Its present-day status as an Art Deco community treasure makes it the perfect place for presentations of the finest international, documentary, animated, and independent selections and series. You don’t need a date to pay for your expensive movie theatre candy — there is a CVS a block over where you can get it for cheap.
If you’re looking to temporarily disconnect from everyone and everything, the McKim Courtyard is the perfect place to do so. The luscious low-hanging greenery and contrasting white marble architecture is a fine backdrop for people watching. You can revel in the romance of the architecture rather than the romance of a partner by your side. The courtyard is also a great spot to catch up on homework and order a cup of tea if you’re into that.
Instead of going out for a dinner date, take yourself to Haymarket. This rendition of a stereotypical night out is more sustainable for the environment and yourself. Get lost in the bustling crowd and surround yourself in the sights and sounds of discounted produce. Personally, there is no better place to go alone than this 300-year-old farmers market.
Dating yourself isn’t as bad as it may seem. Release yourself of the taboo that “going out alone in public is weird and for lonely people,” and you could find yourself in a great committed relationship with yourself.